Saturday, October 17, 2009

Can life BE more conflicting?

It's amazing how being happy about something can lead immediately to being discontent about something else. Inevitable, I suppose, but one of those things that makes you sigh.

I went to church with some friends last Sunday and it was fun. The sermon was alright, although very short, partially because the guy speaking apparently lost his place in his notes at some point. The music was good (I do miss being able to sing very loudly). I love to sing loudly and at our church there are only about two people who sing loudly, both of them much better than I do, so I lower my volume. So that was good, and I enjoyed being with my friends. Apart from that though, I missed our church.

I wish our church had more people, but I don't like huge churches where you don't even know everyone. My friends were looking through the new church directory and saying things like "Oh, those people are married?" and such.

I don't like youth groups, college groups, age-segregated Bible studies, and things like that. I think having everyone divided up and only around their peers is not following the Titus 2 commandments that the older men and women encourage and teach the younger. Talking to your peers can be encouraging of course, but if that's mostly all you get you're only going to be bouncing ideas and opinions off of each other with no other wiser perspective to think about.

I read this article on Boundless this week, and I completely agree with it. Quarantining a Generation

On the other hand, it made me wish I had my own apartment so I could have groups of my friends (of all ages) over. Have people over for game nights, or open houses, or whatever. Our house is rather small though, and I wouldn't want to impose on my parents with my extroversion.

Speaking of which, my mom said I'm a "single extrovert". She has a very good point. Technically, I'm introverted. I don't usually talk a lot, I'm not a high-energy person, after hanging out with people and talking for a long time I usually need quiet and time to recharge without anyone bothering me, etc. On the other hand, if I feel blah, it helps for me to talk to my friends. I enjoy being with people until I'm tired, it makes me happy. "But," said Mom, "if you had a husband you would..." "I'd just talk to him of course," I interrupted. And she's got a point. If I was married I'd have my best friend to talk to at almost any time and that would probably be enough most of the time. So...I am a single extrovert.

But anyway, as I was saying, I started wishing I had my own apartment. With one or two roommates of course, though I don't think I know anyone needing an apartment who would make a good roommate for me. Plus, I don't make enough to afford 1/2 or 1/3 of the rent of an apartment. Or rather, I do, but that's just about all. I don't make enough to afford the car that I would have to have, my share of the utilities, groceries, etc. I already buy my own clothes and toiletries, but groceries aren't cheap, and neither is a car and all the stuff that goes with it. So I would have to get a different or a second job and would be working a lot.

I didn't even know how much rent is for an apartment, so I was looking online to see what there is around here. Lots of apartments, that's what. :D I'd prefer something within fifteen minutes from work, so I ended up looking at the apartment complex my friend Jess lived in before she moved, and the place we lived in before we moved to our house, because those are the only two apartment complexes in Winston that I've actually been inside and know what they're like.

Jess' place was pretty nice (apart from some gosh-awful wallpaper border in the apartment) and fairly expensive too, I find. Granted, in that case you're also paying for a gated apartment complex that apparently is hardly ever actually gated because the gate breaks. Woo-hoo. So, fairly nice, expensive, not really as safe as it's supposed to be.

Then the place we used to live in is okay and cheaper. It's definitely older, and there was some reason my parents got fed up with the management, but it's a decent price, and pretty good apartments, safe neighborhood and all. Though you're likely to get sap on your car from all the pine trees...unless they've all fallen down since when we were there. :D

But as I thought, I couldn't afford to live in either of those places, without all the extra work that I mentioned. Oh well, I have an idea of what apartments cost now at any rate.

My point however, which I think I've lost track of, is that I was feeling happy about our church, and I'm looking forward to going there this week, but in wanting to get together with the people in my church I started feeling discontented about where I live. We just never can be content, can we? :(

Friday, October 16, 2009

Let me add another layer to my geeky-ness

I hadn't ever watched a whole episode of Star Trek before...I kind of knew the basic idea of the show and had seen bits and pieces of it before.

But anyway, Mom was listening to some knitting podcast that mentioned tribbles, and she was telling Dad about it, at which point I was wondering what tribbles were. Star Trek critters. Fluffballs. Sci-fi animate fluffballs, with no discernible features. They purr, reproduce like rabbits, and eat a lot. Okay then. So, I found the tribbles episode of Star Trek on YouTube, and watched it.

The Trouble With Tribbles

And while I was watching it, I was thinking that Spock is really a Jeeves to Captain Kirk. Logical, full of information, and slightly above the foolishness of all the other people. :D So yesterday when I was looking for Jeeves & Wooster clips I found this, and thought "Ha! So I'm not the only one who thought that!"



I'm hardly about to become a "trekkie" but I enjoyed watching some Star Trek. :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wodehouse day

So it's Wodehouse Day...P.G. Wodehouse's birthday. However I have no idea what to do to "celebrate". I could go around talking in a British accent all day, but I really don't feel like doing that. I could watch episodes of "Jeeves and Wooster" (that sounds better, it would be cheery anyway). Or I could start re-reading "The Adventures of Sally", which is a very funny, cute book. Maybe I'll do that. It's rainy and cold here today...which while gloomy, is probably accurate, seeing as it supposedly rains all the time over in England.

In the meantime, here are some clips to enjoy.



These ones don't allow embedding, so here are the links:

Minnie the Moocher

Jeeves Disapproves

And the Jeeves and Wooster theme:


Ah, nothing like Hugh Laurie and Steven Fry for some good British comedy.

Monday, October 12, 2009

It looks like fall

I like my little black MacBook very much, it's quite convenient, has had few problems, and I'm very happy I bought it. It does have to be dusted fairly often because the dust shows up clearly on the black and looks terrible. But I just cleaned it this weekend with a microfiber cloth and now it's dust-free and un-smudged.

But as with any laptop, the fact remains that you simply can't see colors very accurately. This one is fairly accurate as far as laptops go, but whenever I change the colors on this blog I have to go check them on my parents' computer, and I generally gasp or say "eww" when I see it because it's a whole lot brighter/different shade/etc.

That being said, I got the colors changed for fall. Although it's supposed to be a high of 75 tomorrow, it is in fact finally fall and feeling like it most of the time, which I love. Lovely, lovely weather. Some friends and I walked around Reynolda Gardens a little bit yesterday and it was almost chilly at times. It felt good though. I'd rather be outside in cool weather than hot.

Last week at work I was outside with the toddler and I was trying to figure out why she was "Uh-oh-ing" about the leaves on the ground. Oh, right! Leaves are supposed to be on the trees and they've fallen off. So I tried to explain to her in a simple manner that leaves fall off the trees when it gets cold, and then when it's warm again the next year the trees will grow new leaves. Then I thought of deciduous trees, and that was the point at which I drew a complete blank. How on earth do you explain that some trees do keep their leaves? I don't even know the scientific reason, if there is one; just that they do. I ended up saying that "Some of the trees keep their leaves during the winter to stay warm"...and as soon as the words were out of my mouth thought "I did NOT just say that...!" They keep their leaves to stay warm? How stereotypically "trying to explain to a child" can you get?! Ah well. :P At least I don't think she was really listening to me very closely, so probably no real harm done. ;)

So...it is now feeling like fall, and my blog looks more like fall. And as a note: Coldplay, Keane, U2, and One Republic is a good mix to listen to while doing web-design. I'm just sayin'...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Perhaps I've been looking at knitting patterns too long

I've been looking for glove patterns because I got a new coat for this winter and I want to knit some gloves to go with it.

Anyway, in the process I also found this crocheted skirt pattern: Spiderweb Skirt



Good: It can be made with acrylic worsted-weight yarn, so not overly expensive or finicky, and look how neat it looks.
Bad: It's a whole stinkin' skirt! Am I crazy? (Wait, maybe I shouldn't be saying that when I'm in the middle of knitting a whole dress sort of thing with really, really thin yarn.)

But anyway...

In other patterns, these are very cute, but a little too cutesy for me, plus the pattern only comes in Finnish, and since I don't know Finnish I wouldn't be able to finish them...let alone start them. Oh quit groaning, I couldn't help it.











These are pretty...I have never knitted a sock in my life, not even a normal little plain sock:


I believe I'm suffering over-ambitious-knitting-fever. Otherwise known as OAKF.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

It is what it is

And what it is right now is this:











Yes, it looks tiny, but amazingly it will fit me...it'll stretch some when it's done, for starters.

That would be my latest knitting project which is going to be this when it's done, as long as everything goes as smoothly as it has shockingly gone so far. I've never had a knitting project that was so interesting and yet not difficult and completely lacking in wonky knitting instructions. It's awesome.

I think this is my favorite knitting project ever, and the only problem with is that it's really thin yarn so it's gonna take a LONG time to finish it.

The yarn is the stuff I was using to um, knit a sweater back in April of last year. :P I got pretty much the whole body of the sweater done and realized it wasn't going to work...so...yeah. This one is going a whole lot better.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

An issue of trust

"To believe is simply to trust, to depend, to rely upon Christ Jesus." Morning and Evening, Evening of October 5th, by Charles Spurgeon.

I read that this morning, and while the section was about repentance and baptism and such and how that is not what saves a person, the line above stuck out for me.

"To believe is simply to trust, to depend, to rely upon Christ Jesus."

Trust. And trust is something I have a problem with, trust in that sense anyway. I know I'm not saved by anything I do, I know that it's nonsense to think that anything I do, whether praying, or whatever you could categorize as "good works" is truly any good at at all. That doesn't mean they're pointless, just that that does not save a person. I have no problem with admitting I am in fact helpless in that area, and I'm forever thankful for God's grace in saving me.

But when it comes to relying on Christ, completely, fully, depending and relying on Him...that I struggle with. I think most people who know me well probably know I have a slight obsession with planning. I don't like for the majority of things to be unplanned, unorganized. In some cases I'm alright with it, somehow, whether that's from just not caring, or realizing somehow that there's not going to be anything I can do about it.

Take the current politics for instance...sure, I don't agree with all that's going on, but "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. ~Proverbs 21:1" I'm willing to accept that there's nothing I personally can do by fretting about it, and complaining as a lot of people I've heard, about how the government's going to hell in a handbasket. (Note: I wish I knew the origin of that phrase...) I'm willing to accept that what God has planned for us as a nation will happen, whether, even, it's something we like or not.

But when it comes to my life and what I think I'm in control of, I want to plan, and I fret. You fret? you might be saying...or maybe you're not surprised at all. I'm a control freak. And even when it comes to letting my life rest in the hands of God, the safest place it could possibly be, still I panic. I waver between trying to figure out everything for myself, and admitting that it's not really in my control, and yet....if I just did this, maybe it would work better, and if I hadn't said or done that things wouldn't go wrong.

I worry that I've made and will make wrong decisions about things, I worry that things just aren't going to work out...and maybe they aren't; that's almost as hard. Maybe things won't happen the way I want them to. I always find myself thinking "The Lord is in control and what He has planned for my life will happen and will be what's best for me...but..." I make a decision, and then I panic and wonder if that was really the right thing, with a feeling that I may have totally ruined my future by whatever decision I made. Or I feel that whatever event just happened ruined the chances of things working; for instance our church is very, very small...and within my human comprehension I don't see how it would ever get bigger. There are no jobs to move to North Carolina for, as far as I know, and in fact people in our church are losing their jobs, and while they may not want to move, it may not work out that they have any option. And I don't want families to have to leave our church, I would miss them.

I suppose to a certain extent I have a selfish inability to let things go...anything that affects my life I feel I should have some control over and yet there's often nothing I can actually do. So I struggle with trust in all areas of my life. Not trust in people, as far as that goes I know where I stand, but trust that my life is in fact already planned even though I can't see it. And it's that blindness that stresses me.

While thinking about this this morning, I read my cousin's blog post, in which she mentions plans and trust as well. It always sounds mean to say that I'm happy to hear another person is going through what I am, but what I mean is that I'm grateful to know I'm not the only one. So I was encouraged, strangely, by that, and I hope maybe this will encourage her as well.

She did make me laugh as well, with one sentence that made me burst out laughing and probably spit on my computer screen in the process...all in a good way. It was funny, but I liked/agreed with it. :)

Regarding her plans: "They start out so nicely--I will go to college for four years and be an excellent teacher for a little while, then I will get married and have four kids and adopt four kids and live in a cozy house and make cookies and pot roast and finally be a kindly wise old lady, the fun kind who is always telling high school girls how hot her husband is..." And that last part would be the point at which I burst out laughing. :) Awesome.

So I'd just like to also ask for prayer in this matter, if you happen to think of it. As G.K. Chesterton said: "Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried."

Monday, October 05, 2009

Extremely miscellaneous

First of all, I didn't realize Jars of Clay had done a cover of "Lonely People" by America. But I saw it on a CD I was thinking about buying and found this cute video someone made to go with it.



I like that song...although it really makes no sense. But then, what with the "Horse With No Name" song and all, America wasn't exactly known for making much sense. Although I find another song I like is by them too: Sister Golden Hair. At least that one makes sense. But I guess it's expecting a lot from a 70s band for them to sound sane very often. ;)

This is one of the Jars of Clay CDs I was looking at: Who We Are Instead

I find I have a bit of a dilemma. I could just buy CDs from iTunes as mp3 files, but then I don't have the physical CD. Some CDs look really neat too, like The Avett Brothers CD "Emotionalism" is silver with birds on it and looks really cool, and some CDs have lyrics in the liner notes (nowhere near enough of them do that though, I think there should be lyrics in all liner notes), but other than that, I don't do anything with the CD once it's uploaded to my computer. I guess if I lost my music files I would still have the CD and be able to upload them again, but it's cheaper to just get mp3s, and I could probably find free mp3s to replace any I'd previously bought but lost, unless it was something rare. So I'm not sure what I want to do. There are several CDs I want to buy, but I can't decide what form to get them in. Thoughts??

I also remembered that I never posted about last month's mail art postcards. I had two because I sent one both to Lauren and Caroline.

Lauren's:
"Flowers & Fashions in Pink and Green"
Mixed media collage
9/2009












Caroline's:
"Fashions and Shapes"
Mixed media collage
9/2009













And this is this month's (Carolyn's):
"A word of encouragement"
Colored pencil and ink.
10/2009












Quite honestly it wasn't my original plan to write on that, but I drew all the flowers and vines, and it still needed something so I decided it would be a background, and wrote as neatly as I am capable of. :P

This month I need to be thinking about my design a little earlier...last month flew by and I realized it was the last week and I hadn't started my postcard yet. So, I'll add that to my list of crafting stuff to figure out.

But right now it's Monday, I have cleaning to do, and one of those things to be cleaned is my desk...I lost my iPod somewhere under the piles and I want it before bathroom cleaning and such.

Have a good week! I shall really try to blog more often, but I make no promises. :/

Sunday, October 04, 2009

No fair!

So, the fair is this week. None of us entered anything this year because we just haven't had much time in the past year to get things made, and if we have it's not been fair-quality things.
I usually enter some sewing, knitting, photography, and baking, but I've sewn things the way I'm happy with them, which is not always perfect; I haven't gotten any great knitting done; and the baking can be extremely last-minute and stressful. So no fair entries this year.

I kind of miss it. The rush of getting things done in time, the dropping stuff off and smiling at the ooo-ing and ah-ing of the ladies checking things in. The relaxing and not thinking about the judging going on on Thursday...usually we're too busy cleaning the sugar and flour off the kitchen to think about it too much anyway. And then going to the fair on Friday to see what you won, and figuring how much money you got from the prizes. Eating a funnel cake and some other over-priced fair food and wandering around in large crowds of people that you just don't see the rest of the year...(where do they hang out usually?) We don't usually go on rides because right now I'm the only one in my family that doesn't mind being spun around and flipped upside down on a ride. I'm hoping Colin will outgrow his fear of heights, etc., someday: it's a foreign concept to me. :)

We would have had to be getting things ready on Tuesday, and then drop them off on Wednesday. However, on Tuesday I worked and on Tuesday night I had time to go contra dancing. Then I was thinking about my friend who was getting back from Minneapolis at noon the next day, and then had to get her entries rounded up and taken to the fair. Plus her brother who I took to contra was saying on the way home that he still had ten things to finish that night (this was at about 11!)...and I wasn't feeling so bad about not having the stress that goes with all of this! :D

I'm thinking about what I want to do for next year though, because unless I'm really busy next year too, I want to enter things. I think since I took a year off, I should be able to actually focus on getting things done throughout the year as opposed to feeling burnt out and ready for a break like I usually do right after the fair. :)

I'm working on a knitting project right now, it's going to either be a dress or a tunic, depending on how much yarn I have. And so far I haven't made any mistakes on it either, which is very unusual with a knitting project! I'll post some pictures when I get enough knitted to be worth photographing. At the moment it's kind of a big lump on a needle.

As far as anything else, I don't have anything specific planned to work on this year. Oh, and my cross-stitch project I've had going for years. I should probably finish that this year. And I'll do some photography. I really should make a list of what all I could get done this year.

In other news...well, life as usual I think. I can't think of anything terribly exciting that's happened lately. :)