Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Just a few more thoughts

Because the weddings ideas post seems to have gone over amazingly well. :D No snarky comments from relatives even...I'm shocked. ;)

I saw this article the day after I wrote the last post, which reminded me of one other wedding apparel expense. Bridemaids' dresses and whatever the groom and groomsmen are going to wear...and does it have to be tuxes? Well, for the groom, I mean. Sure, if my future husband wants to wear a tux, I'd be fine with it, but it seems a little unnecessary. I would think most guys would be perfectly happy to just wear a regular suit, right?

Bridesmaids dresses...hmm. Not sure about that one. A lot of it would depend on who I picked for bridesmaids probably. In general though, I wouldn't expect them to have to have identical dresses, just the same color perhaps? Which might be just as difficult...unless I went with black. In which case I would shock both my grandmothers, and possibly my parents.

As far as whether you should spend a lot (or a decent amount) on a wedding because it's only one day, or not spend much on it because it's only one day, I think there's a balance somewhere in the middle. Yes, it is a very special day, and you want it to be nice, and memorable, and you want it to not just be thrown together and coming across simply as a means to an end that unfortunately has to involve fluffy dresses and cake. :) On the other hand, I'm not big on flashy stuff, or all the little fiddly things that have to accessorize a wedding. Nor should it be such a big deal that it stresses everyone involved and overshadows the fact that you're getting married. You don't want people to come see your "wedding" you want them to see you get married. So yeah, somewhere in the middle there. A simple wedding, with meaning behind it, after all weddings are symbolic.

I'm happily pleased to see that I'm not the only girl who has her wedding dress already too. :D Or, at least a possible dress, leaving open the possibility of changing our minds. I wish I could remember how much I paid for mine, but I bought it, oh...probably about four years ago. Since that was before I started working, I doubt I would have paid much for it. Somewhere between $30 and $50 maybe. It's a vintage Gunne Sax brand dress (70's maybe?), ivory/cream lace, and I just found the same one online on some vintage clothing website that sold for $150. I know I didn't pay that much! No, it's not white, but I don't really feel like wedding dresses have to be white...and I look equally pale and washed out in cream or white, so it's a no-win situation. :) Although if it was a spring or summer wedding...I might want white...and short sleeves...hmm. I guess I can hope fall would work out...I like fall best anyway.
I was looking at some of the modest wedding dress sites and I really didn't find a whole lot that I liked better. And they were all expensive! Most wedding dresses are too frilly. Yes, I know, they're supposed to be. But I'm not a really frilly sort of girl. Feminine clothes, yes; frilly, no. And no, lace isn't always frilly.

And I know where it would be neat to have the wedding, provided there weren't too many people to squish in...but if there were I'm sure there are lots of pretty churches around here. Moravian churches usually look nice. Outdoors, like Jessica said, sounds kinda nice, but fraught with peril as well. :D Rain, heat, cold...I like the outdoors, but not so much when I'm dressed up. lol

Anyway, just a few other thoughts I had...and it made me realize that a lot of this stuff would have to be rethought and possibly revised when the time comes. I try to be accommodating...I wouldn't want to have a whole list of totally inflexible plans that I shoved on everybody. Hmm, in general I'm flexible about things, I guess. I have ideas, but they can change...and if it's an opinion or idea that won't change for whatever reason (plain stubbornness or belief) you'll know. :)
Which reminds me of something else I was thinking of the other day (and I can't remember if I've said this before, it's sounds vaguely familiar) but I think we woman (or I at least) tend to change our opinion more often than men because we state our opinion more quickly. Or our first opinion anyway. Then after more thinking about it, we may change our minds, and state a differing opinion. On the other hand...guys are fairly quiet until they have their opinion set and then they state it (if they see fit), as opposed to going off on a tangent about something and then changing their mind the next day. So by the time they've stated their opinion it's firmly fixed as their opinion....at which point they will loudly give it to you. Or quietly, depending on the guy. And I have experience with both among my family... And I'm sure this doesn't hold true for all men, or all women, but it seems like in general that's how it works. (I'm thinking I said this to someone, or on here before...hopefully to someone, so I'm only repeating myself once.)

And now I'm rambling. Ask me tomorrow if my opinion changed. ;)

Hey! It's a month till my birthday! Yikes.


Robert said...

I agree with what you said.People focus too much on wanting to impress everyone with a big show.

A nice wedding would be a small and simple home one-something like Meg's or Anne Shirley.

Laura Ingalls was married in a black cashmere dress!

There were some good articles in the guides.Marrying well is NOT about money,looks or charm.

Here is a link that shows another type of wedding cake. http://jessicasjournalforjesus.blogspot.com/2008/02/more-wedding-pictures.html

If you scroll down you will see a cake made from doughnuts!

Natalie said...

Hmm...I'm trying to remember Anne Shirley's wedding...is it in the books?? Somehow it's completely slipped my mind if it is.

Oh yeah, she was! A black cashmere dress sounds nice, unfortunately that's really unusual now. Too bad...I like black better than white. :D

Of course, it's important to find your spouse attractive, but keeping in mind that that fades, and there has to be more to a relationship than looks. Although I wouldn't want to go too far with that and simply have a checklist (okay, this person matches all the requirements, guess I better marry them!)...that doesn't sound like a good idea either. :) So many fine lines when it comes to relationships or weddings.

Oh my, what a lot of doughnuts! :P

Katarina said...

How much would I spend on my wedding? I guess that would all depend on how much money I had for the wedding correct?

I have kept my mind open in this area, for many different reasons. One reason being that I know I might change my mind between now and when I get married.

I have known for a while though, that I and/or my sisters will be sewing the dresses, as I have yet to find a wedding dress that I like and my sisters are far too picky on the clothes they wear and we have a hard time find clothes that they like and are modest enough for them. And as they would be my bridesmaids, I would have to keep all that in mind. :D

Cake....Well that's easy as well either I or my sister would make it and decorate it as we both took some cake decorating classes and know the easy steps for roses and that is all I would really want on it. :D

Where to have a wedding? Now there is one thing I haven't really thought about, if it were to be in the fall I would love to have it out by our pond, but then I guess I will just have to wait and see when I get married won't I? lol

And you mentioned in one of your comments about photography, I thought it would be fun to give two of my sisters a camera and let them take the pictures. I have two sisters who are absolutely wonderful at taking pictures, either with them being set up or on the spur of the moment and I think they might do wonderfully and save us tons of money. :D

But, again this might all change when it comes time to plan for and have the wedding. As it is, I don't even have a man (much to the shock of half my sisters and some friends!). :D But, I am not worry about it as I figure God will bring him into my life when I am ready for him to be in my life, that is in the aspect of marriage and not just a friend, if I know him already. :) Only God knows. :D

Natalie said...

Hi Katarina, thanks for commenting! :)

Ah, good point on the spending...some of it does depend on how much money is available at all.

Oh wow, you're blessed to have all those sisters who would be able to help you with things!

As it is, I don't even have a man (much to the shock of half my sisters and some friends!). :D But, I am not worry about it as I figure God will bring him into my life when I am ready for him to be in my life, that is in the aspect of marriage and not just a friend, if I know him already. :) Only God knows. :D

I agree! :)